Jokes/funny Stuff

mikerezny

Well-Known Member
Sep 11, 2016
1,630
2,728
113
Mount Waverley, VIC
After being married for 40 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said,
"Forty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched
a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 23-year-old girl.

Now ... I have a $500,000.00 home, a $35,000.00 car, a nice big bed and a large screen TV,
but I'm sleeping with a 63-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman.
She told me to go out and find a
hot 23-year-old girl and she would make sure that
I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed
and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.

Older women really know how to solve an old guy's problems.
 

mfexpanda

Well-Known Member
Apr 1, 2011
4,246
5,284
113
Brookfield, Vic
E043F043-970D-4E10-B829-264933A537FC.png
 

Crusty181

Well-Known Member
Feb 7, 2010
6,854
13,971
113
Mentone, VIC
Now, leaving myself wide open to adverse attention, I'll plunge right in for clarification. I am indeed a road cycling warrior and yes I have a wardrobe full of wonderful lycra. From a riders perspective not wearing lycra is more embarrassing than wearing it, but Im not going to explain why to you nonbelieving shallow thinkers. Im just a suburban bottom feeding nong, but I usually motor along btw 30-40kph+ and that's kinda the point if your road bike training; it's all about training zones, cadence and HR. Bike training isn't about meandering along the beach path with the kids, a cafe latte in one hand and the dog in the other and that's what that path to the left is for; along with scooters, prams, skateboards, joggers, walkers, other dogs, training wheels, Zimmers and sleeping drunks. I used to do150km rides on the weekends and there isnt too many bike paths that long. Many of my lyca clad brothers will easily average 40-50kph, often in groups of over 20 bikes and Im not sure I want that weaving around my grandkids on the "bike" path.

Ok, now Ive learned you up on bike training as opposed to bike riding don't forget that I mentioned and love to wear lycra .... if you take any info away from this I think me wearing lycra should be it
 

Disco Duck

Well-Known Member
Dec 8, 2017
311
581
93
Adelaide South Australia
The imagination is running wild. I would ask you to post photos but there may be children viewing these pages and I don't know that I am strong enough to see that anyway.
As in all walks of life Crusty, there are those that do it well and the those that just create problems.
 
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Drover

Well-Known Member
Nov 7, 2013
12,878
19,648
113
QLD
Have no idea what your on about crusty, bike riding, wear jeans, leather jacket with at least a 750cc engine under the seat....Push bike riders on the other hand, wearing over sized undies and think they look cool are something else and should be avoided like the plague.... Any bloke who likes flashing his willy about and shaving his legs, well lets not go there.
 

Crusty181

Well-Known Member
Feb 7, 2010
6,854
13,971
113
Mentone, VIC
Have no idea what your on about crusty, bike riding, wear jeans, leather jacket with at least a 750cc engine under the seat....Push bike riders on the other hand, wearing over sized undies and think they look cool are something else and should be avoided like the plague.... Any bloke who likes flashing his willy about and shaving his legs, well lets not go there.
That's hurtful. I may ride a lightwieght 57inch Carbon Ultra loaded with Ultegra Di2 hardware .... but I also still own 3 x motorcycles including a thumping 1100cc sports bike which is the one that gets the ladies
 

Drover

Well-Known Member
Nov 7, 2013
12,878
19,648
113
QLD
Ooppss sorry I missed a zero.... I thought it said 110cc so assumed you in lycra on a postie bike...........a horrible picture of you getting mobbed by old girls in the street on your Honda........


1599723767005.png
 

rags

Well-Known Member
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mfexpanda

Well-Known Member
Apr 1, 2011
4,246
5,284
113
Brookfield, Vic
Now, leaving myself wide open to adverse attention, I'll plunge right in for clarification. I am indeed a road cycling warrior and yes I have a wardrobe full of wonderful lycra. From a riders perspective not wearing lycra is more embarrassing than wearing it, but Im not going to explain why to you nonbelieving shallow thinkers. Im just a suburban bottom feeding nong, but I usually motor along btw 30-40kph+ and that's kinda the point if your road bike training; it's all about training zones, cadence and HR. Bike training isn't about meandering along the beach path with the kids, a cafe latte in one hand and the dog in the other and that's what that path to the left is for; along with scooters, prams, skateboards, joggers, walkers, other dogs, training wheels, Zimmers and sleeping drunks. I used to do150km rides on the weekends and there isnt too many bike paths that long. Many of my lyca clad brothers will easily average 40-50kph, often in groups of over 20 bikes and Im not sure I want that weaving around my grandkids on the "bike" path.

Ok, now Ive learned you up on bike training as opposed to bike riding don't forget that I mentioned and love to wear lycra .... if you take any info away from this I think me wearing lycra should be it


What can I say

Goodbye old friend
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