Its more contagious than Bat Flu, just reading my post and your infected. Dr Howlong will be happy to give you a certificate
Jokes/funny Stuff
- Thread starter Boots in Action
- Start date
Ha, ha was thinking similar, add some extra supplies to Big Mal and park up by this nice ditch I know that has flowing water, take out the odd Bunny and do some camp oven magic, put the Honda on display to keep folk away and just stay away from DH's ................. stay well away from Cities and major towns as they seem full of dingbats..........saw the nongs doing a run on an aisle of dunny paper today, really need some culling to be done.
Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly.
The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Darryl and Gary.
The three men had always done everything together!!!!!
Darryl arrived first and when the mortician pulled back the sheet Darryl said, “Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over.”
The mortician rolled him over, and Darryl said, “Nope, ain’t Bubba.”
The mortician thought this was rather strange.
Then he brought Gary in to identify the body.
Gary looked at the body and said, “Yup he’s pretty well burnt up. Roll him over.” The mortician rolled him over and Gary said, “No, it ain’t Bubba.”
The mortician asked, “How can you tell?”
Gary said, “Well, Bubba had two a#%holes.”
“What? He had two a#%holes?” asked the mortician.
Yup, I’ve never seen ‘em, but everyone knew he had two a#%holes.
Every time we went to town, folks would say, “Here comes Bubba with them two a#%holes!”
The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Darryl and Gary.
The three men had always done everything together!!!!!
Darryl arrived first and when the mortician pulled back the sheet Darryl said, “Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over.”
The mortician rolled him over, and Darryl said, “Nope, ain’t Bubba.”
The mortician thought this was rather strange.
Then he brought Gary in to identify the body.
Gary looked at the body and said, “Yup he’s pretty well burnt up. Roll him over.” The mortician rolled him over and Gary said, “No, it ain’t Bubba.”
The mortician asked, “How can you tell?”
Gary said, “Well, Bubba had two a#%holes.”
“What? He had two a#%holes?” asked the mortician.
Yup, I’ve never seen ‘em, but everyone knew he had two a#%holes.
Every time we went to town, folks would say, “Here comes Bubba with them two a#%holes!”
Substitute Dead Horse for Virgin Australia ............................................
Never enough dead horses in Qld. always room for more!
Paddy had decided to take on the Russian world champion wrestler.
His trainer put Paddy through a strict training regime, but warned Paddy that no matter how fit he was, the Russian had an unbeatable hold, called the Pretzel hold, that once applied was impossible to escape from.
"Whatever you do Paddy,don't let him get you in a Pretzel hold or all is lost" said the trainer.
Come the start of the match, the wrestlers circle each other warily, then they make contact.
In seconds, Paddy is tied up, can't move a limb and he realises the Russian has him in the Pretzel hold, he closes his eyes and waits to be counted out.
Just then, he opens his eyes and all he can see is a large pair of testicles in front of him. He cannot move a limb,so he does the only thing he can think of, he bites the testicles.
There is a scream and the Russian flies in the air then lands on his back, Paddy throws himself across the Russian and gets the fall.
After the match,the trainer asks Paddy what happened as it looked as if it was all over when you was in the Pretzel hold.
To which Paddy replied,"It's surprising the burst of energy you get when you bite your own nuts"
His trainer put Paddy through a strict training regime, but warned Paddy that no matter how fit he was, the Russian had an unbeatable hold, called the Pretzel hold, that once applied was impossible to escape from.
"Whatever you do Paddy,don't let him get you in a Pretzel hold or all is lost" said the trainer.
Come the start of the match, the wrestlers circle each other warily, then they make contact.
In seconds, Paddy is tied up, can't move a limb and he realises the Russian has him in the Pretzel hold, he closes his eyes and waits to be counted out.
Just then, he opens his eyes and all he can see is a large pair of testicles in front of him. He cannot move a limb,so he does the only thing he can think of, he bites the testicles.
There is a scream and the Russian flies in the air then lands on his back, Paddy throws himself across the Russian and gets the fall.
After the match,the trainer asks Paddy what happened as it looked as if it was all over when you was in the Pretzel hold.
To which Paddy replied,"It's surprising the burst of energy you get when you bite your own nuts"
This is now laminated and up in my shed, it is so me...........................
...
...
Hi,
I must be getting old. It took me ages to get this one.
take care
Mike
Definition of a Vegetarian – Ancient tribal slang for the village idiot who could not hunt or fish.