Jokes/funny Stuff
- Thread starter Boots in Action
- Start date
A guy took his blonde girlfriend on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. They spend a fortune.
The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything.
The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, the guy catches a fish.
As they are driving home they are really depressed. The guy turns to his girlfriend ans says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred dollars?"
The girlfriend says, "Wow! Its a good thing we didn't catch any more!"
The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything.
The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, the guy catches a fish.
As they are driving home they are really depressed. The guy turns to his girlfriend ans says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred dollars?"
The girlfriend says, "Wow! Its a good thing we didn't catch any more!"
and this about sums it up nowadays......................................................
Spotted this on a fence in Murgon (a small country town in QLD) and couldn’t resist it.
Truly Classic ...................... think about it.
A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favour?"
"Of course child, What may I do for you?"
"Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my Mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"
"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie."
"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her.
The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"
"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare."
The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"
"I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."
Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father. Next!"
"Of course child, What may I do for you?"
"Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my Mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"
"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie."
"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her.
The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"
"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare."
The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"
"I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."
Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father. Next!"
With another birthday approaching, this says enough.
Once upon a time, a Pilot asked a beautiful Princess, "Will you marry me?"
The Princess said, "No!!!"
And the Pilot lived happily ever after and flew aircraft all over the world.
He rode motorcycles, went hunting, camping, fishing, raced hot cars with fast women, went to bars and drank whiskey, beer and Captain Morgan...
Kept his house, guns and all his toys.
He ate spam, and potato chips and beans, blew enormous farts wearing nothing but boxer shorts, and all his friends and family thought he was frikin’ cool as hell.
He had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up...
The end
The Princess said, "No!!!"
And the Pilot lived happily ever after and flew aircraft all over the world.
He rode motorcycles, went hunting, camping, fishing, raced hot cars with fast women, went to bars and drank whiskey, beer and Captain Morgan...
Kept his house, guns and all his toys.
He ate spam, and potato chips and beans, blew enormous farts wearing nothing but boxer shorts, and all his friends and family thought he was frikin’ cool as hell.
He had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up...
The end