Brad, what you need to do to remedy the van parking situation for maximum aesthetic gain versus minimal personal sacrifice is to order a load of paving bricks and then bugger off to America on a Business trip for a couple of weeks. What consecutively will happen then ( are you taking notes as i will be asking questions later?) is that your good lady with the lousy driving record will be unable to get either safely into your driveway without bouncing off your new pride and joy or get the shiny new 'van out of the way should she want to because the retarded delivery driver will not take instructions and intelligently will dump 4 packs of bricks within 300mm of the drawbar of the van's temporary parking spot ( which just happens to be the driveway)rather than on the front verge as you will no doubt point out to the paving sales lady with a pronounced lisp a few days prior because you know how thick these people can get.
Are you sitting comfortably, because here comes the really cunning part. Your significant other, now turning purple of face because she cannot and dare not thread the company supplied Amarok through what is now a driveway needle for fear that she will add to the trail of vehicular carnage that she is well renowned for in the car insurance industry,will then, in your absence, organise a work colleague and his two burly teenagers to dig out two rather large and deeply rooted tree stumps that were left in the future extended driveway location as sacrificial food for hungry termites to stop them getting into roof spaces and snacking on WA's finest jarrah roof trusses.
If it all goes to plan then after a temporary meltdown that would resemble a Chernobyl nuclear reactor failure , If the aforementioned spouse is like my tightarse and angry Scouser, she will then get away with only paying the pressed men/altruistic volunteers 20 bucks each for the teenagers and bugger all for the perspiring Welsh father for their not inconsiderable efforts done on a Saturday morning at a time of the day before the sparrow hasn't even lifted a leg to fart, let alone suffered the break of day flatulence in the first place.
Then quicker than you can say " New York, New York it's a wonderful town" a Bobcat and a brick paver will get organised in quick succession and the whole job is done, cleaned up and ready for the triumphant return from foreign climes of the family bread winner.
That my friend is how issues like this get solved.
I am either the most cunning, or the most manipulative husband that was ever put on God's green earth or have the best wife a man could wish for ( save for the lack of a flat head and not owning a brewery of course, but you can't have everything).
I get back a week Sunday, I will let you know if the dangly bits stay attached for longer than the time it takes to utter the words " Jeez lass I have really missed you - get your kit off" I just pray she has calmed down enough by then, but if you read headlines in the West Australian newspaper that a man from the Swan Valley was found dying from wrenched off willy syndrome you will know that it was me and it didn't end particularly well.
Wish me luck I am going to need it.
Just LOL!
:gru2: